Dr. Martin Luther King is quoted as stating that “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” Nevertheless, there are too many people who do not like their marriages—-for one reason or another.
Certain long term married women (even though they deny any interest in divorce), adamantly state they would not remarry if widowed. They explain that they do not want to be controlled or take care of anyone ever again. They want to do their own thing. And too many women with young children vow to ‘wait it out’ in their marriages for the ‘right’ time to divorce. They forecast their certain divorces into the future—when the kids enter school, are teenagers, go to college, leave home….
WOW! Are these wives simply tolerating unsatisfactory marriages and biding their time until death occurs or the optimum time to divorce arrives?
Women who have enjoyed a happy, healthy marriage are not so resistant to remarriage after widowhood—-and certainly not for those reasons. Women in unhappy unions, but committed to two parent households for financial realities and the perceived benefits to children, do not need to sacrifice themselves through the process.
If you are unhappy being married as you are, change yourself and your expectations. Create a better self and relationship instead of just tolerating your marriage until ‘death do you part’ or until a ’better’ time to divorce. Reduce your stress and increase your self- care or you could be doing the ‘dying and parting and divorcing’ first—–at least emotionally.
- Push back with your opinions and experiences.
What do you think?
© Copyright 2012 P.H. Pickett, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
Contact Dr.Patt@HireCoach.com for permissions.